Lessons Learned

As I was flying back to school after Thanksgiving Break, I started to reflect on my life and all the decisions I made in the past: some good and some bad. I began to harp on the bad decisions and ask myself why I did those things. Why did I take that last drink and why did I make those around me uncomfortable by my drunkenness? Why didn't I ask more questions about others lives and be there for them in their time in need? After a few minutes of thinking about what I should and shouldn't have done, I realized that I can change what happened. The past is the past and all I can do is apologize and make changes for the future. The best way to learn is through past experiences and hardships. I decided to use to my regrets and should haves as a chance to improve my attitude and my life. The past can't be changed, but the future remains unwritten. It is up to me to write it.

Senior Year

As I am approaching the last few weeks of my summer vacation, the thought of my senior year both excites and terrifies me. I am looking forward to enjoying my last year hanging with my friends, going to parties and not having to worry about the world of payments and employment. However, the thought that this is my last year of security and comfort is beginning to freak me out. I have spent three years in the safe bubble of Santa Clara and am not sure if I will be ready to leave it at the end of the year. My college experience was full of excitement, friendships, lessons and hardships that helped in grow in one way or another. I am truly grateful to have had the opportunity to go away to college. Not only has it taught me many wonderful academic things, but it has taught me more about myself. However, I still have some doubts about myself and the future. I am not entirely sure of what I want to do after I live the halls of Santa Clara. There are still many unknowns that are rapidly approaching. Will a degree in communications be enough to get me a job? Will I even be able to find a job? Will that job be enough money to support myself? And where will I be living? As I start to prepare to go back to school, I try to mentally prepare myself and embrace the unknowns ahead. I try to tell myself to be excited for the changes ahead and for now just live in the moment. Enjoy your last nine month of comfort and freedom. I have grown so much since I walked into dorms 3 years ago and still have one more year to go. Who knows, maybe at the end of year I will be able to answer those questions. But for now, I am just going to live in the moment. Because as Bill Keane said, "the past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”

A Hard Conversation

Here is an exercise I did for my fiction writing class. Enjoy!!


It was five in the evening on a Friday of a long week. My plane would be landing in an about hour and my aunt would be picking me up at the airport. She also inspired me to go after my dreams.
“If I could back and change something in my life I would be that I got an education when I had a change,” my aunt would say. “I am too old now and have kids to take care of. Also Ryan would not know what to do with himself if I was busy studying all the time. He would definitely go back to his younger days and eat Top Ramen every day for dinner.”
How could I tell her this big news? Would she should be supportive or would she sit there in silence?

“Hi Aunt Jessica, How have you been” I would say, reaching out to give her a hug.
“Hello Anna, my darling, it has been busy. With Cody in karate and Lori in dance I have been driving around town all week. But enough about me, I want to know what you have been up to. How is school?”
“Well, it is funny you should ask…”
“Hey can you tell me on the way. We have reservations at Rose’s in 30 minutes and it being a Friday night I don’t want to lose our table.”
“Sure, no problem. Rose’s is my favorite restaurant. Is this a special occasion?”
“No darling, I just remembered you liked it. And since you have been working hard at school I thought you should deserve a treat.” We would then hop into the car and start to drive away. “How did the Ben Franklin paper go? Last we talked you were just finishing that up?”
“It went fine, got an A-.”
“High five! You are such a great student. I am so proud of you. What was it that you were going to tell me?”
“Well…mmm…I…mmm…..
“Can I help you?” The hostess interrupted.
“Yes we have reservations under Jessica at 7:30.”
“Right this way.”
We would sit down at a candle lit table; put our napkins on laps and fold open the menu.
“They changed their recipe for calamari, it’s actually fantastic now. I know you’ll love it. Last time I took you out you gulped that stuff down. Let’s order some to share.”
How could I tell her now? It would ruin the mood. She has been so nice to me.
“Can I take your order?”
“I am going to start with an iced tea and we will share some calamari to start.”
“Just water for me.”
“How is Mandy? I would go crazy if I had a roommate who bought boys over all the time. If I were you I would have told my RA when she kicked you out that Friday night. Where did she think you would go?”
“I don’t know. At least Carol let me stay with here. She has a futon in her room.”
“That’s right. How is Carol? She is such a sweet heart. When I took you guys out to dinner she had such great manners. “
“Carol is great; her softball team is going to the championships.”
“Glad to hear it. Anna, I don’t think I tell you enough how proud I am of you. You worked so hard in high school to achieve your dreams. You got good grades and never caused your mom much trouble. Most kids being raised by a single parent working all the time aren’t as self-motivated as you.”
“I just don’t want to have the same life as my mom. She works hard at two different jobs and barely makes enough money to pay the bills. Let alone my college. Thankfully Grandma helps out. I’m thankful I have such a supportive family.”
“We love you Anna. You are not a mistake or an accident but a blessing. Yes, we all would have hoped your mom would have been older when she had you. But the circumstances turned out amazing. Her actions, even though irresponsible, gave us you. And we are thankful that everything turned out. Sometimes it doesn’t. Some kids with young single parents do not get the attention they need. They may live in poverty or abusive homes. Or maybe those kids just become trouble makers. I am so glad you are not like that.”
“Here is your calamari. Are you ready to order?” The waitress would say, placing the plate in the middle of our table.
“Yes, we will have two pesto lasagnas.” She said and winked at me.
“You remembered my favorite. I haven’t been here in so long.”
“I would never forget anything about my niece. We talk almost every week.”
“Aunt Jessica, I love you and want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I feel like I could tell you anything.”
“Anna, I will love you no matter what. I will support you in any decision you make. Are you still thinking about changing your major?”
“No, …”
“Good, I think you would make a great History Teacher.”
“Umm…Aunt Jessica. Can I tell you something? “
“Sure anything.”
“Just promise not to speak until I am finished, okay?”
“Anna, you are starting to scare me. What happened?”
“Just promise, okay?”
“Alright, I promise.”
“Aunt Jessica…I….well….there was this guy I meet at this party. He was really cute and…”
“You have a boyfriend! How great! What is his name? I would love to meet him next time I visit you.”
“You promised you wouldn’t speak until I finished.”
“Oh, I am sorry my darling. Go ahead.”
“I am just going to go out right and stay it. Aunt Jessica, I’m pregnant.”
“Ladies and gentleman, we are beginning initial decent into Camilla International Airport. We should hit the ground in about 20 minutes. Please prepare for landing.

Waiting Room

Here is a short story I wrote for my fiction writing class:

Kelsey walked into her camp cabin, water dripping from her tangled blonde hair. She pulled out her hair tie and dropped her pink and white stripped towel on the cracked wooden floors.
“Your dive is getting better, Kelsey,” her friend Jessica told her while taking off her swim shoes.
Kelsey blushed and turned to look at Jessica. “It is all because you’ve been helping me the past week.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Jessica grabbed a hairbrush and started to comb through her hair. “I’m getting hungry; wanna grab a Popsicle or something in the mess hall?”
“Sure, just let me get into drier clothes. I hope they have grape today. It’s my favorite and they haven’t had it in a few days.”
“Maybe Ryan will be handing them out. He is cutest boy at camp. Maybe he will even ask me to the dance at the end of camp.”
“He probably will, I catch him checking you out at the pool sometimes. Besides you’re great at talking to boys. I usually say something stupid or start to stutter. Last year at school, I tripped or ran into something every time a cute guy even looked at me.” Kelsey pulled out a pair of jeans, placed them on the bed and began rummaging through her duffle for a t-shirt.
Knock, Knock. “Come in,” the two girls said in unison. The camp director walked in the door, looking the whole time at the floor. She was tall and her wavy brown hair was hanging down to her shoulders.
“Excuse me, but is Kelsey Kelly here?” She straightened her glasses and finally looked up at the girls.
“I’m right here. What’s up?”
“Come with me, we need to talk to you in the office right away,” She turned and left the cabin.
“I’ll meet you in about twenty minutes in front of the mess hall.” Kelsey put on some slippers and followed the camp director outside.
“I believe I have some bad news,” the camp director finally spoke. “Your mother was in a car accident. She will be fine, but I’ll take you to the hospital right away.”
Kelsey’s world started to spin, she felt sick to her stomach. Would her mom be okay? She tried to ask the camp director for more information. But the worlds would not come out of her mouth? Does she just have a couple broken bones or is it more serious than that? What if she dies? When she was finally able to open her mouth, the only thing that came out was vomit.
Kelsey followed the camp director to the car and buckled up still in her swimsuit. No one spoke a word the entire ride. When the car finally stopped in front of the hospital, Kelsey ran out without even thanking the camp director and spirited towards the receptionist.
“Need. To see. Mom.” Kelsey said in between sobs.
“Name?” A cranky old lady who manned the desk asked.
“Umm…Ms. Kelly. Cadence Kelly.” Kelsey shuttered.
“She is about to go into operation. You can sit in one of those of chairs there.” She said pointing to the perimeter of chairs surrounding the plain white room in front of her. The walls were white and had no decorations. Not even a poster to lighten the mood, like the ones that used to line her pedestrian office. “It should only take two hours.”
She took a seat in the waiting room and grabbed a magazine to help pass the time. But the words became so blurry that she couldn’t comprehend what they said. She placed the magazine back on the table and looked around the room. Everyone there had someone to talk to. Everyone had a hand to hold. Everyone, that is, except her. What if my mom doesn’t make it? She is all I have. My life would be completely ruined without her; we’ve had so many great times together, Kelsey thought.

Kelsey had come home from school after the last day of class before winter break. Her mom was sitting in the kitchen with bowls of sugary treats, cans of frosting and cardboard boxes. “We’re going to make gingerbread houses!”
“Why?” Kelsey asked while setting down her backpack on a nearby chair.
“Why not, life is too short to not to enjoy it,”
Kelsey had grabbed a piece of cardboard and a couple gummy candies. She placed one in her mouth and started to put together the house.
“How was school, sweetie?”
“Okay, Josh got a haircut. I’m just glad to be off from school for two weeks. Seventh grade is tough”
“Have you talked to Josh yet?”
“No….I can’t. He is way more popular than me. He’d just laugh at me. Besides he has a crush on Lily Lanson and she is way prettier than me,” Kelsey said while painting green frosting on her piece of cardboard.
“Kelsey, who wouldn’t like you? You’re a great girl; you’re smart, pretty and caring. Plus you know how to make people laugh. Promise me you will talk to him when school is back in?
“I…I’m not sure. I’m not good with people. I start to stutter when I’m nervous. Especially when I talk to cute boys.”
“I’ll teach you how to be confident and talk to boys. First you need to make eye contact, it shows that you have confidence and guys tend to like girls with confidence. Second guys like funny girls, so just be yourself.” her mom had said while placing M&Ms on the top of her house.
“Like that one time I accidently called that girl the brightest tool in the shed instead of the sharpest?” Kelsey started to laugh so hard that tears started to roll down her face. Her mom joined in and laugher echoed throughout the whole house.

Kelsey looked around the waiting room, hoping to find the nurse coming in to bring good news. How long have I been waiting here? She thought. Has it been like an hour, two, maybe three. She looked up at the clock onto of the reception desk. Only fifteen minutes passed.
“Why are you here?” A young boy asked sitting in the chair next to her.
“My…my…my mom...was …was in a ccccaaar accident.” It was the first time she said it out loud and the words rang loudly in her mind and bounced back and forth in her head as a tear moved slowly down her check. “How…how..aaabb… about you?” She asked looking down at the ground.
“My brother was also in a car accident.” Kelsey looked at him. He had gorgeous blue eyes and a curly brown hair.
“I…I hooope yourrrr brother is ooookay.”
He’ll be fine. Or at least I hope, we are supposed to go camping together next week. Are you close with your mom?”
“Yeah, she…she and I do everything together. She’s very impulsive.”
“Oh, really?” Jake asked looking into Kelsey’s brown eyes.
“Yeah, this one time she shook me awake at 6am and told me she had a surprise for me. At first, I just rolled my eyes and flipped over to the other side of the bed. I didn’t have to be up for school for another two hours and I wanted some more beauty rest. But she wouldn’t let me sleep, she just kept shaking me. I got so annoyed that I finally sat up and asked her what the surprise was. But she wouldn’t answer me. She just said to get into the car. So I got up, pulled up a pair of jeans, zipped up a hoody and stumbled downstairs. It was completely quiet in the car, the only sound that could be heard were the few cars passing by us on the highway. I had been so tired that I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. I started to wonder where we were going and if I would make it back in time for school. Just as I had peered my eyes open, I had noticed that we were exiting off the freeway. We were taking the exit to Disneyland. Better than school, huh? My mom said while smiling at me.”
Kelsey started to cry and the young boy handed her a tissue. “I’m Jake, by the way,” he said placing his hand out in front.
“Kelsey,” she said shaking his hand.
“Wow, your mom seems really cool. I wish my parents would do stuff like that for me. The only surprise my Dad has given me was extra yard work and chores.”
“She’s great. Are you close with your brother?”
“Yeah, he is my best friend. We do everything together. I hope I can spend more time with him before he leaves for college. I’m going to miss hanging out with him.”
She reached out and started to rub his arm to comfort him. “Wow, do you work out,” she muttered. Jake chuckled and looked at her.
“Yeah I play baseball at school. My brother actually taught me. He would spend hours after school pitching so I could practice hitting. I’m thinking about trying out for the high school team next year. I’ll only be a freshman, but I guess it’s good to start early. My brother started as a freshman and he ended up getting a scholarship to play in college. Do you play any sports?”
“No. I’m not coordinated at all. I tried soccer but I tripped over the ball. I even tried tennis and I ended up hitting myself with the racket. I didn’t even know that was possible.” Kelsey pushed back her hair and smiled sheepishly.
Jake laughed and just looked at Kelsey. “Well by the looks of it, you are a swimmer. Do you like swimming?”
“Oh, my friend was just teaching me how to dive when I heard about the accident. I didn’t have time to change.”
“I was cleaning my room. My dad is out of town on business and very particular about what the house looks when he gets back. He starts yelling at me if it isn’t spotless. What is your dad like?”
“I…I..I’ve never met …met my father. He left when he heard my…my mom was pregnant. She had me her freshman year in college. “
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. I like….I like… that it was just the two of us.”

Her mom was dressed in her short black mini dress, hair perfected curled and makeup designed to highlight her natural beauty. She came up to kiss her daughter goodbye when she noticed tears rolling down her face. “What is wrong sweet pea?” she had asked.
“Nothing.” Kelsey responded.
“It is obviously something or you wouldn’t be crying.”
“Well, Chrissie didn’t invite me to her birthday party. And she told the whole school that I was loser because I don’t have the new cool hair style or wear makeup. Then the whole school laughed at me. I had to sit alone at lunch today.”
“I am sorry sweetie,” her mom said while taking off one of her earrings. “You used to be best friends with this girl in elementary school and how does she repay for all those sleepovers and for all that time she spent at our house, by making fun of you? That is totally not right. You know what? I think we should go to La Fontana tonight for dinner and watch Willy Wondka and the Chocolate Factory while eating ice cream.”
“But what about your night out with your friends?”
“You are more important right now.”

“Do you two know each other?” The nurse asked interrupting Kelsey’s daydream.
“We just met.” Jake responded with a confused look on his face. “Why do you ask?”
“Well Mr. Jackson, your brother was in the same accident as Ms. Kelly’s mom.”
The two just stared at each other in silence for some time.
“Well, both of the operations just finished.” The nurse finally spoke, breaking the silence. “We are just moving them to their rooms. We will bring you back in about twenty minutes.”
“What a small world,” Jake finally spoke reaching towards Kelsey’s hand. Kelsey quickly moved her hand away and drug through her bag.
“Gum?” She asked handing Jake a stick.
“Sure, thanks.” He said reaching for the stick of peppermint gum. For a moment both glared into each other’s eyes as each of their hands was on the same wrapper. Finally Kelsey let go and grabbed her own piece of gum.
“Ms. Kelly, you can come back now.” The nurse called from the door.
“Is my Mom okay?” she asked in between heavy breathes.
“Follow me,” The nurse beckoned for Kelsey to walk towards her.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Kelsey leaped towards the nurse without looking back at Jake. She followed the nurse through the maze of the hospital. She plugged her nose the moment she walked through the door, it smelled as if someone had dropped multiple large buckets of hand sanitizer and Clorox. The pale white walls that surrounded the waiting the room also dominated the inside. Everything around her was moving in slow motion. She passed by room after room, sick patient after sick patient. She saw bloody victims laying on beds being rushed off to operating rooms. She saw doctors yelling orders at each other and nurses writing down notes in their notebooks.
“Your mom is fine, Ms. Kelly.” The nurse said while opening the door. Kelsey pushed the nurse out of the way and ran towards her mom. She had IVs in both arms and her short auburn hair was uncombed. Even though her mascara was running down her face, she was still beautiful in Kelsey’s mind. Tears began to fall down Kelsey’s face as she gave her mom the hugest hug imaginable
“I’m so glad you’re alright.” Kelsey said lying next to her mom in the hospital bed.
Kelsey left her Mom’s room a few hours later to let her get some sleep. As she opened the door, she immediately remembered Jake. I hope his brother is okay, she thought. She started to walk through the hospital once again to look for him. A few minutes later, she saw Jake walking out of one of the rooms.
“Hey Jake, I was hoping to catch you before you left,” Kelsey ran towards him, “I really enjoyed talking to you…and…well…how is your brother?”
“He’s great, just resting. How about your mom?”
“Same, she’s tired from the operation so she is just taking a nap now.”
“Good. Well, thanks for helping the time fly by. Maybe we can see other again soon.” Jake said reaching out his arms to hug to her.
Kelsey also reached out her arms and the two hugged for a few moments. “I’d like that.” Kelsey responded

Procrastination

As my finals week is coming to a close, the only thing I have left to finish is my writing portfolio for my fiction writing class. However, I keep finding ways to procrastinate. The bad thing about writing is that I’m on my laptop and only one click away from the internet. And once I go on the internet, it is hard to go back. I go on Facebook and look at old pictures of my time in Italy, then research airplane tickets for the off change that I will go back to Italy soon. And then somehow I end up looking up restaurants and clubs in Vegas, which is where I will be spending part of my spring break. The internet is a dangerous place when you have tons of work to do. Web searches lead to more links much then again leads to different links. Pretty soon, several hours had passed and I have only written a few sentences. I spent the whole time looking up random stuff on the web. Damn you internet for distracting me!!

Now that that rant is over, I will try to get back to writing.

Random Disney Facts

Since I am very knowledgeable about Disneyland, I like to share some interesting facts about the park.

1.) Openning day in 1955 was a disaster. The pavement was still wet and temperature was over 100 degrees. The water fountations weren't working and several rides shut down to maintence problems. Some thought that the park wouldn't make it and close after only one year.

2.) There is no gum sold in the park because Walt Disney did not want gum to be spit on the ground in the park


3.) The bricks on the castle get smaller as they get higher to make the castle look taller

4.) Each land has a different style trash can

5.) Matterhorn has a half sized basketball court and mini pool inside

6.) Walt Disney used in live in the Mainstreet Firehouse. The light is left on today in his remembrance

7.) The Snow White and Seven Dwarfs statues by the wishing well are the same height. Walt just put Snow White higher on the hill to make her look taller.

8.) There are several hidden mickeys located in the rides and other attractions around the resort. You can purchase a Hidden Mickey Book for clues where the mickeys are hidden.

9.) Tomorrowland is set to represent the future as the perceived it would look like in 1986, the year of Hailey's Comet.

10.) Club 33 is a private club above Blue Bayou Restaurant in New Orleans Square. It takes years on the waiting list to get in the club and it is the only place that serves alcohol in the park.

11.) Once inside the park, you can not see the outside world. You are away from the stresses of life.

Californiaisms

This past weekend I was driving with my friends to the beach and realized that being the only person from California, I have many sayings deemed as Californiaisms. For example, I put the word “the” in front of highways and freeways. For example of instead of saying, take 101, I say take THE 101. I am constantly made fun of for that by my friends.

I also recently talked to my family about this. My sister and mom agreed that they tend to put “the” in front of highways and freeways; however, my dad does not do this. But he grew up in Pennsylvania, which further emphases my point that saying THE 5 or THE 101 is definitely a California thing.

Another Californiaism is complaining about the weather. Californians want perfectly sunny weather all the time. Even when it starts to rain the slightest, many California natives freak out. Just last night I looked up the weather for the week and saw that we supposed to get to rain all week. After saying the weather looked depressing, my friends just laughed at me. They told me that we need rain and that rain really isn’t that bad. I know we need rain, I just don’t like it. It gets in the way of my tanning time and makes walking to class so much more difficult.

California is the best state and I plan on living here for the rest of my life. So my friends pretty get used to my Californiaisms because I will never change my habits.